It was marvelous fortune that I met C. Melita Webb when she consulted me for organizing help. She has taught me a great deal about courage, and what it means to aspire to graceful, compassionate dignity for oneself and others. I am not a Christian, but I think Ms. Webb’s ideals are universal to all faiths and I would like to point people to her.
The following essay is hers: it echoes some of the lessons I try to teach my clients. Many are heart-breakingly harsh towards themselves about their challenges. They blame themselves for human weaknesses instead of seeking to use their strengths. Some – colleagues, parents, children, spouses – are uncharitably judgmental about the challenges of other people in their lives.
“In our culture the old and wise often speak of generational curses. I think they are more of situational learned behavior. Passed from one generation to the next. We are now living in an informed age. We have access to news, communication and knowledge that no other generation before us was privileged to have. With this privilege comes responsibility.
We must do better now that we know better. We must wash, wipe and strip away at the things that have not made us better. We must look at our lives with fresh eyes. See what we need to know, seek knowledge and build better foundations for the next coming generation. We can remove hate, anger, pain from our lives and raise healthier families.
Each of us has a responsibility to love, nurture and uplift those we are around. We need to learn how to spot what triggers our emotions. Is something going on in our present that brings up memories of a difficult past? Don’t sit and be content to be unhappy, unwell, unloved or unfulfilled.
Choose to forgive the past and yourself for holding onto the past. Choose to start today renewed, refreshed and commit to being a better you. Choose to see the blessings all around. Can you see, feel, hear, touch and smell? Those I believe are our first blessings after our first breath. With those simple, often overlooked gifts, so much more can be enjoyed. We must again learn to be happy for the simple things. A smile from someone you love. An invisible bird singing up above. After all, every gift is given in love.
Stop thinking of your yesterday. If you are here, you are present. Be present. Be aware, be thankful, be a blessing to someone every day. Do the nice things because they do not cost a penny, they come from the heart. Open a door for a stranger. Carry a grocery bag for someone.
Commit not to speak in anger.
Commit to remember how to love.
Choose to smile, because you can!
Choose to lend a helping hand.”
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