Safeway Monopoly – Surprise!

Safeway Monopoly started Wednesday 2/6/2019. Which I discovered 2/5/2019. NOOOOOOOOO. I thought it started next month. I haven’t had Spring Training: no run through all the aisles to remind myself what’s where; no eating down the staples. No making room for the frozen pizza. I wasted a purchase when I bought the chocolate on 2/5 instead of 2/6. NOOOOOOOO, I’m not ready.

I’m writing this on 2/7. Had my game board in hand by 2/6 2:00PM and my first nine tickets. Already have my first pizza coupon (Yes, Red Baron). Game on. I may be coming from behind because I didn’t get my sprints in or my thumbs limber, but I’m pushing the cart hard.

Fellow Monothletes, there are some CRITICAL changes. In the spirit of noble competition, I’ll review them for you:

(1) NO MORE FLIPPING THE BOARD OVER. It’s all on one side. CAUSE FOR JUBILATION!!!!!!!!!

(2) The glue is better. And it tastes BAD.

(3) They’ve gone high-gloss – no more cute little Monopoly-themed doodles. There are real photos of real paid actor people really dramatically really re-enacting all the real really fun activities you can enjoy with all your statistically-improbable-to-win prizes. I don’t know if it makes the marketing any more convincing, but it sure is a jarring visual difference.

I have a new strategy this year. Not gonna give away all the secrets. BUT WOE to us all that we may not be able to shop next week. Curse you, global climate change.